I read the news today oh, boy.

During the workday, I can expect some kind of text from my husband. There’s the “I forgot to do X, could you please do it for me?” Then there’s the “What’s for dinner?” or its more palatable variant “Let’s go out for dinner.” And finally, there’s the “RIP: so & so.”* Though there’s also plenty of affection in between, I’ve still come to consider viewing texts from him as a form of playing Russian roulette, never knowing if this round contains a death knell. 

One of today’s texts did, and it nearly crushed me. Had I read “Half Empty”—a book I purchased and shelved with all my other promises—I would have at least been prepared, as I’ve now learned that in it, David Rakoff discussed his struggles with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I was even completely unaware when I volunteered him to sub for me in a post last week.

I have a bit of reading to do...

I have to say I am devastated. As a writer, I’ve dreamed of being David Rakoff in this life or the next. He was candid, very often in a savage kind of way, he was excessively analytical, he was demented, and he was disapproving. And, while gyrating through each of these postures, he was absolutely hilarious.

I actually thought this afternoon, “If only I had read his last book…” As if doing so would have been like clapping to save Tinkerbell.

Oh dear. Rest in Peace David Rakoff. You I’m going to miss.

*My husband is really not morbid, or anything like that, he just happens to listen to NPR all day, every work day, so he always hears the latest news way before I do. Oh, and despite many of my recent posts being a little heavy on the topic of mortality, I'm not either. It's just happening this way right now.