Sartre's statement that hell is other people was surely prophesy, as he could not have experienced it incarnate: Forever 21 on the day before the day before Christmas.
It's true, I have no one to blame but myself for my sins of procrastination. Maybe next year I will remember the tortured shrieks of awkward adolescents, the unbearable heat emanating from my fellow delinquents, the howling cantillations of talentless pop singers. Yes, I must mend my ways!
Oh, woe is the tormented soul who has waited until the last minute to cast away her hard-earned money to secure a teenager's eternal gratitude. And, yet, I have escaped the wretched, glittery, bottomless pit!
Behold, young innocent: I present to you... a gift card!
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