Take My Advice.

Looking to write about something other than bleeding from my ear and then vomiting for a full five minutes (it was probably closer to one minute, but felt like five) while trying to leave for work this morning, I decided to look up some writing prompts to seed my barren pasture of ideas. While I’ll forgo the inspiring subject “evil baby orphanage” for the time being, be aware that it may turn up at a later date.

Instead, I gravitated to this prompt, “What piece of advice do you wish you were given as a high schooler?” I was drawn to it because there are oh so many. These are my tops (given to me, by me):

Take Education Seriously.
As an adult, you’ll spend much of your time and money trying to gain and regain knowledge you could and should have already had. There’s nothing wrong with being an eternal learner, but being a late learner is inexcusable.

Know that Boys Are Stupid.
Or that girls are stupid about boys is more like it. For one: over-concern about them interferes with your education. See Item A.

Secondly, you are in control and have all the power and leverage in romantic relations. But only if you acknowledge it and behave like it. Boys are only faking it. Know it and you’ll never lose an iota of dignity.

Finally, the boys who break your heart will grow up to be mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, grammatically-challenged boors. (Return to Item B2, as needed.) Oh, and the boys you didn’t give the time of day to? They’ll become International diplomats, doctoral students, and world-famous artists. True story, girl.

Wait for It.
But not idly. If you follow my first two pieces of advice, being an adult can be an incredibly gratifying and rewarding experience. Education opens up unlimited opportunities, not just in building a professional life, but in forming relationships, making decisions, and experiencing the beauty of the world to its fullest. And prioritizing romance and respecting its place in your path will free you to be and do whatever you desire.

Listen to me, silly. I know what I'm talking about; just trust me.

Oh, and one last thing: perms are overrated.