I'll Be Grateful When You're Nice.

What I left behind in 1991 was the desire to cover my rear window in stickers that promoted love, peace, and day-old jam bands. The better to watch my past in my mirror become faint and indistinct as I drove further and further away from it.

A few days ago, for the first time in so many years, I tagged the bumper of my car with a new message. One that embodies the spirit of the old days, but in a less posturizing kind of way. I think. I mean, I want to mean it...

 
In doing this, I acknowledge that some people will read it, and, therefore, I should be on better behavior while on the roads. Lest my message be rendered insincere. The problem is, some people are not beautiful, and rush hour traffic is an explicit way of understanding this.

What does it say when a woman driving the "just the way you are" vehicle flings a finger, shakes a fist, or tilts her head upward so that you, you shithead with your window down, can hear my personal, just for you expletives echoing more clearly through my sunroof?

We call that an incongruity.

So I am thinking about installing something akin to a vacancy/no vacancy sign. Something that I could switch on, when needed, that would append my message with: "Except you. You are actually an asshole. Go home and think about that."

That should do.