Back in 2008, I was working for an engineering and surveying
firm writing proposals and marginally handling their graphic design needs.
One of the Principals of the company invited me to participate in a local ASCE
(American Society of Civil Engineers) roundtable discussion on the subject of preparing
effective proposals. I was thrilled for the opportunity, and arrived at it more
prepared than I have even been for anything in my life.
I sat with a panel of two others in front of an audience of about
30, including a few of my colleagues. We answered questions and then the table
opened for each of us to present our nuggets of insight. When the attention
turned to me, I froze. I had pages and pages of intelligent words in front of
me that I could have simply read aloud, if only they didn’t look like an alien
alphabet. I stared, I sweated, I opened my mouth with the intention of spewing words,
but, instead, felt a wooly breeze passing between my lips.
The brief moment that passed was one of the longest moments
I have on memory. Its length was exaggerated by the number of thoughts I was
able to conjure, minus those on the subject of the moment, of course.
If you have ever experienced a non-physically-threatening
moment of fight or flight, then this is what it felt like. I sat in my chair,
and, rather than gravitating to either pole, I instead imagined myself simply not
being there. Poof!
I grinned. They stared at me confused. A gracious coworker
asked me a leading question and I was sprung from the steel bars that my mind
had erected in record time.
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