Oh, You Know.

I was prompted the other day to make a list of 10 things I should have learned by now. I flitted through high school; fumbled through college; functioned in numerous jobs that have each, in their own special way, doled out varying degrees of enlightenment; and I have created and destroyed a multitude of relationships. I should have learned a great deal by now. Of course, the operative word here is should, which seems to imply: should have, but haven’t.

1. Each day requires a minimum of two meals. Three is ideal; five is too many. Regardless of the number, planning ahead for them makes life infinitely easier.
2. Eating more that you burn off will make you fat. And if your pants no longer fit, it is not because they all mysteriously shrunk in the dryer.
3. Adequate sleep makes you a better person; too little sleep makes even you not want to be around you.
4. There are few acts of impulse that return favorable results. Many will culminate in a room filled with shoes.
5. No matter what you do, there are always consequences.
6. For unknown reasons, your situation always looks/feels different in the morning. Sometimes you just have to wait for it.
7. Alcohol truly is the cause of and solution to all life’s problems. Thanks for that, Homer Simpson.
8. Your parents aren’t always right. Just as you have always suspected.
9. No matter how valid your evidence, or how persuasive your argument, you rarely, if ever, can change another person's mind.
10. Trying to be perfect takes the fun out of life.