Feast or Famine.

I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, feeling frustrated that I can't find the will to drop the extra pounds that I've put on over the past year. There's nothing wrong with me now; I'm just a little rounder here and there, which may not be a bad thing. Except that I'm definitely not at that place that I was back in 2010 when I felt nothing short of perfect.

But perfect only in my reflection, I have to continually remind myself. Under the surface, I was sad, frustrated, & confused and had no appetite for anything--food or otherwise. It was not a good time to be me, unless I was trying on clothes or walking in heels. Even then, these were brief flits of comfort to a mind addled with emotional turmoil.

I managed to drag myself out of it and also recognize how important it was that this crisis happened in the first place. It forced me to act; to do; to change. And, in finding contentment with my life, I also found my way back to the joy of eating more than just air and self pity.

If being bone thin was a result of a malnourished soul, then maybe these extra curves signify a kind of satisfaction. And that actually tastes better than skinny feels.